Gun Wars

You want a war? Fine, it’s war. We’re taking your guns. It’s war and you will lose. It’s that simple so get used to it. We’re going to nuke you from orbit.


You should try Netflix. We recommend cooking shows or reality TV or Marvel Comic Universe. Have you considered kickboxing or welding? It’s fun.


We tried to explain it to you. We had data and graphs and experts and research and news articles and all the other stuff you seem to hate. Nothing. We had reasonable arguments combined with how many bad events? A seemingly countless number of horrible events. And yet, nothing.


Take your kids to the water park. Teach them cursive. Or clarinet. We know, it’s useless stuff. But it fills the hours of the day just like your precious guns do. Go to the library and learn something for fucks sake. Oh, your red states eliminated libraries? Well, come on over to our blue states. We love migrants, haven’t you heard?


A lot of us grew up shooting guns, hunting, etc. I know I did. I have a small box full of NRA leaden medals for marksmanship from a pretty hardcore summer camp in Maine. I hit 5 out of 5 in a one inch circle standing at 50 feet at age 12 with a Mossberg 22. Doesn’t matter. Not a bit. Even active duty and retired soldiers don’t agree with you. What the hell is wrong with you?


We agree with you on one thing, though: the media and internet has failed us, because a huge majority of people don’t agree with your stupid gun fetish but yet a small minority get all the airplay. It’s a failed construct funded by oligarchs. The facts are buried like ancient media treasures in a peat moss bog of fake news. You’re the ones that keep talking about fake news. Truer words never spoken.


It’s a war, a war of ideas, and you will lose. Go ahead, arm your fat-ass suburban militias and don’t forget your night scopes and shitty civilian body army. I recommend you spend every last dollar on your kit. We’ll wait. And vote. You will lose.


This is not a battle of words. It’s a war of ideas. You are on the wrong side and you will lose. You’re worried about your backyard but we’re going to take you out from 100 miles up. That’s how ideas work.